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James, you're my Double-O,
I am your Moneypenny.
Please choose ME this time.
-- Kat Mulkey, Lafayette
I purr, "Bond, James Bond,"
as she warmly asks my name,
and my wife kicks me.
-- Bruce Roberts, Hayward
Bond's sexy symbols
A tux, a cocktail, a gun
Leave me shakn' AND stirred
-- Debbie Sager, Pleasanton
Double 0 seven.
Bond, gets all the attention.
Neglected. 0 six.
-- Pete Cuddyre, Oakland
Our man, Bond, James Bond
bests SPECTRE's latest effort, then follows his heart.
-- Matt Cummings, Oakland
Sean had such elan
Pierce was suave in stylish duds
"I'm Bond "... James," they purred.
-- Norma J. Shattuck, Oakland
Venti mocha, please,
Shaken, not stirred. Yes, I'll wait
while you ponder that.
--
Bruce Roberts, Hayward
Oh, to be a Bond
girl. But even young, I was
no Halle Berry.
-- Sherry Sheehan, Crockett
Sean, Roger, Pierce, Tim
Hang up the black tuxedo
Blond Bond, oh those eyes.
-- Stacey Gustafson, Pleasanton
On missions for M
Gorgeous girls all around him
His choices conflict.
-- Helen R. Oliver, Brentwood
Super Brit is back!
Sleek, sexy, facing vile foes;
Fans groove on escape.
-- Norma J. Shattuck, Oakland
Obtain decoder,
Kill SPECTRE agent on train
From Russia With Love
-- Tim Hurson, Livermore
Bond, James Bond's beauty.
Sleek, gimmicked, chasing evil.
Aston Martin wheels.
-- Rodney Bittencurt, Livermore
All those Bond ladies
With curious names 'Galore'
Which do you recall?
-- Mike Takayanagi, Fremont
"Bond, James Bond," he says.
Then, "Shaken, not stirred," while I,
eyes on screen, am both.
-- Sherry Sheehan, Crockett
In Aston Martin
Bond presses button, launching
multiple missiles.
-- Vernon Parsley, Walnut Creek
"Sorry I blew up
your car, Officer. Q said
it couldn't be done."
-- Bruce Roberts, Hayward
That most famous drink,
"Shaken not stirred," certainly
No appletini!
-- Belinda M. Danielson, Pleasant Hill
Bond does not stir me.
He's a man's fantasy spy.
Give me Jason Bourne.
-- Judy Pietrzak, Oakland
null
Pining to poeticize?
Runners-up in the James Bond Haiku Contest
Double Agent Man
Working for the enemy
Short is your life span
- Bethanne Keirnan, Pleasanton
Casino Royale
Win at Baccarat, hit eight
The first was the best
- Vernon Parsley, Walnut Creek
Her lips brush his neck.
James is shaken, but not stirred.
She is M's suspect.
- Rodney Bittencurt, Livermore
Craig, Connery, one
Moore. Blond? Scottish? Londoner?
Which suit is dealt now?
- Sherry Weaver Smith, San Ramon
Oh, James! Twenty one
Beautiful Bond girls there've been.
Skimpy wardrobes all!
- Belinda M. Danielson, Pleasant Hill
Double o seven
handsome man on a mission
action, guns, and girls
- Donna Merry, Knightsen
Sophisticated
gadget carrying icon
James Bond -- film legend
- Donna Merry, Knightsen
Fair haired Daniel Craig,
Latest Double Oh Seven.
Blond? James Blond? Oh no!
- Yvette Ratliff, Dublin
Debonair James Bond
Orders a dry Martini
Shake, but never stir.
- Vernon Parsley, Walnut Creek
Martini in hand
kills without batting an eye
man of action Bond
- Donna Merry, Knightsen
Brave One Needling Death.
Juggling Amorous Moves, Else Stealth.
Babes Or Nasty Dudes.
- Rodney Bittencurt, Livermore
Down the bar I heard
"Martini, shaken not stirred"
Was it James -- James Bond?
- Mike Takayanagi, Fremont
Created by I.
Fleming in the fifties, Bond
still energizes.
- Sherry Sheehan, Crockett
The Bond formula
Mingles danger and desire
With sly humor too.
- Norma J. Shattuck, Oakland
Shaken but not stirred,
Evades grip of Dr. No,
The name's Bond, James Bond
- Tim Hurson, Livermore
James Bond in peril
Evil and traps surround him
Saved by Q's magic.
- Helen R. Oliver, Brentwood
Trained to save England
No matter what it costs him
The price is too high.
- Helen R. Oliver, Brentwood
With girls and gadgets
Bond travels the world over,
One last adventure.
- Helen R. Oliver, Brentwood
Sharp and debonair,
dubious fiends beware, the
secret agent man!
- Matt Cummings, Oakland
Urbane to the max
Bond is a man of culture
Manners are his thing
- Pat Hobbs, Dublin
A rugged man's man,
A hot lover of women,
Double "O" Seven.
- Jo Ann Lew, Union City
In movies and books
Double O Seven a spy
Lived dangerously.
- Charles Minshall
The Spy Who Loved Me,
Never Say Never Again,
From Russia With Love
- Shirley Sprague, Concord
Bond's star is rising
Box-office bucks burgeon
His namesake's falling
- John Barry, Danville
Early Bonds are best
Those flicks' soundtracks' composer
The great John Barry
- John Barry, Danville
Hollywood action
3 lines of 5-7-5
can't describe James Bond!
- Nona Mock Wyman, Walnut Creek
James, I drive a Ford,
You drive an Aston-Martin -
It's as if we're twins!
- Bruce Roberts, Hayward
As my new helper,
May I call you Pussy Galore?
Harassment? No, why?
- Bruce Roberts, Hayward
Seductive women,
Dangerous gadgets, fast cars -
007!
- Bruce Roberts, Hayward
After nine consecutive weeks of haiku, we're going to try something new. This time around, we're seeking limericks inspired by Thanksgiving -- pilgrims, pumpkin pie, Aunt Mildred, or whatever evokes the holiday for you and does not involve the word "Nantucket" or anything, er, similar. Send your non-naughty limerick(s) -- Google "how to write a limerick" if you need a primer on rhyme schemes -- to jburrell@bayareanewsgroup.com by noon Thursday, Nov. 20. The winner reaps the usual immortal glory and his or her choice from our selection of just-published hardcover books.
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