Not every tour goes exactly as planned

Sun. November 23, 2008; Posted: 02:35 PM

An unexpected side trip to a hospital in Strasbourg, France, put a damper on my much-anticipated trip to Oktoberfest in Munich, Germany, and a cruise on the Rhine River from Basel, Switzerland, to Amsterdam, The Netherlands.

I was back in action during the last two days of the cruise, visiting Koplenz and Cologne, Germany.

Come with me on this painful journey of exploration:

DAY 1: Linda Roberts of the tour agency Best Trips Ever assembles 103 of us in two buses for the ride from Decatur to O'Hare Airport in Chicago. It's the largest number I've traveled with and includes several friends from the trip in November to Australia and New Zealand. I also meet table tennis champions; a cheerleader from Canton, Ohio; a man who won $1.3 million in the lottery; a rental housing manager; retired Archer Daniels Midland Co. and A.E. Staley Mfg. Co executives; and a Purple Heart nurse.

There's a lunch stop at The Mansion in Dwight. The nonstop flight to Munich leaves on time at 6 p.m. It's about 8 1/2 hours to Munich.

DAY 2: Landing at Munich is at about 9:30 a.m., seven hours ahead of Decatur time. We check in at the Arabella Park Sheraton Hotel. Lunch is a bowl of spicy soup. After a nap, it's a taxi ride for seven of us downtown. The destination, the Hofbrauhaus, is jammed. No way to get in as the young Germans swarm on the streets. Instead, we settle for a seat at the bar of a nearby saloon, fascinated by the bartender's nonstop filling of huge steins and tall glasses of beer. Drunks are falling down the stairs. It's fascinating people-watching. I eat salmon steak.

DAY 3: I'm beginning to feel queasy, although I join a group going to see the Glockenspiel clock tower downtown. For lunch, soup at a cafe near the hotel. In the afternoon, we head for the Dachau concentration camp for a grim tour. On the way back to the bus, I'm soaked with rain. Now I'm feeling wrung out, so I skip going to an Oktoberfest tent in favor of joining a group having dinner at The Rathskeller downtown. I order baked codfish.

This was the final day of the 175th Oktoberfest, beer, music, fun and more beer. An estimated 6 million visitors drank 6.6 million beers, and souvenir-hunters tried to steal 200,000 beer steins.

DAY 4: An all-day scenic bus ride from Munich to Basel, Switzerland, to catch the River Ambassador ship. We had to go south in order to go north. The barge-like ship, 360 feet long, has 125 passengers; it's almost our private ship. We have breakfast in Munich, lunch in Austria and dinner in Switzerland, viewing the Alps along the way. Lunch is a slice of pizza and orange soda, dinner is steak and fries. En route, I add to my sweatshirt collection at a picturesque rest stop. The pain increases.

DAY 5: Extreme pain. I skip a shore excursion, skip lunch, skip dinner. When we dock in Strasbourg, I decide to seek help at the hospital emergency room. The ship sends a crew member with me. He speaks some French. At the hospital, it is difficult to convey my problem. An X-ray is taken. Finally, a person who speaks some English tells me: "We can't do anything for you. Take these prescriptions."

DAY 6: I stayed in bed until noon, missing a tour of Strasbourg, had a light lunch and participated in the life jacket drill. Dinner was white fish, strawberry sundae. Then back to bed.

DAY 7: I managed a bit of breakfast and went on the group walking tour of Spycher. A bus ride to the Heidelberg castle followed. I didn't make it into the castle, trudging back to the bus. Skipping lunch and shopping time, I huddled in the bus in pain for 3 1/2 hours. During the night, I had a vivid dream of attending a Chicago Cubs game at Wrigley Field. The Cubs lose.

DAY 8: I'm still hurting. I skip all activities and stay on the ship while the others go gallivanting. Not eating much, still swallowing a handful of pills.

DAY 9: Hooray! I'm feeling much better, enough to go on the cold, windy deck to see the two dozen castles arrayed on each side of the ship during a 40-mile ride in the Upper Middle Rhine Valley. I'm reminded of the Bob Scobey/Clancy Hayes song, "Something's Always Happening on the River."

In the afternoon, there's a trip to Marksburg Castle, the best preserved castle on the Rhine, situated on top of a mountain. There's a steep incline leading to the castle door. Two shipmates drag me up the incline. I go up several flights of stairs in the castle, then rest in the huge kitchen with a fireplace so big a whole steer could be grilled, while the others climb to the top. Impressive: The torture chamber. After the castle, we stop for a snack at a restored old mill. Yes, I'm feeling better. An indication: For dinner, I enjoy halibut and ice cream.

DAY 10: We're in Cologne, and I'm on a walking tour. Hundreds of motorcycles and their riders are massed in front of the imposing Cologne Cathedral, waiting for a blessing. Hit by 14 bombs during World War II, the cathedral remained standing. Back on board, I enjoy German meatloaf for lunch. The farewell dinner includes caviar, beef tenderloin and baked Alaska.

DAY 11: We're docked in Amsterdam. Up at 5 a.m., luggage out at 6 a.m. There's a short tour of the city en route to the airport and the flight to Chicago. About 6 p.m., I'm back home on North Main Street.

THANKS: To the many people who helped me survive, principally Linda and Gary Roberts, Bob and Claudia Wilson, Barbie Kuzma, June Innis, Libby Page, Vern Thistlethwaite, Bill and Marjorie Robinson, Carl and Debbie Wilkey, Bill Burris, Keith Edwards of Evansville, Ind.

RATINGS: 4 1/2 to 5 stars, based on a poll of Linda Roberts tour regulars such as Martha Floyd, Sandy Lynch, Vern Thistlethwaite, Virginia and Jack Warren, Eleanor Alsbury, June Innis, Barbie Kuzma, Janet Buzan. Virginia Warren said: "I'd follow Linda anywhere."

COST: Priceless. Traveling with Linda and Gary Roberts is a pleasure, even when you're a party pooper.

bfallstrom@herald-review.com|421-7981

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