It usually involves young men who are black or Hispanic, but just as easily could be American Indians, Hmong, Mormons on ice-cream highs, Goths en route to a retired witches convention or anyone with a lot of m's and h's in their last name.
What sometimes happens is that a police officer sees a vehicle being driven erratically, and it turns out to be a metallic green Rolls Royce with lowriders and enough bass thumping out an open window to register on the Richter Scale three states away.
We hear that the cops often jump to the conclusion of drug dealer when pulling over the car for closer inspection, when after all the occupant could be the secondseat cellist in the Boston Symphony Orchestra.
Then some of us read about what allegedly happened to Donald Driver's father the other day in Houston. For those who don't watch television on weekends, Driver is a wide receiver for the Green Bay Packers. He's pretty adept at catching passes, eluding men who are trying to take his helmet to a taxidermist, and he sometimes makes it into the end zone.
If that happens during a home game, Driver can be prompted to perform a maneuver called the Lambeau Leap, diving into a crowd of deliriously drunk fans who are extremely more dangerous than the men he recently has eluded.
Driver's father doesn't do any of that, but like his son is a black man. He reportedly was driving around in Houston with outstanding traffic warrants, which if true isn't a very responsible thing to do. That is where his story diverges between family allegations and a police report.
What seems to be fairly certain is that the elder Driver was arrested by police officers, then later picked up semiconscious at a Houston police station by paramedics and transported to Hermann Hospital. He remained in ICU as of Thursday, the latter reported by relatives.
They allege doctors said there is some bleeding on the brain from blunt force trauma, which makes it sound as though officers used Driver's head as a tennis ball and played a few sets. If true, and there seems to be little other explanation for the injuries, try and internal investigate your way out of this one, guys. By the way, the officers, one of them Hispanic, remain on duty pending further investigation.
Meanwhile, if son Donald Driver decides to play Monday night against New Orleans, he can emulate the meathead in Cincinnati who legally changed his name to Ocho Cinco, which he mistakenly thought was Spanish for his jersey number.
Instead of Donald Driver, he could become My dad got his head kicked in by a couple of yahoo cops in Houston. Hyphens optional.
It wouldn't fit very nicely on the back of his Packers uniform, but it sure would be a convenient reminder if ever we wanted to profile some cops.
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