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The announcement comes in the middle of a Methodist potluck lunch, which means it's absorbed by an audience absorbed in discussing the merits of about 60 casseroles.
"I mean blow-out Griswold."
By "Griswold," he refers to channeling his inner Clark W. Griswold, the iconic Chevy Chase character that almost blackened Chicago's power grid with the sheer magnitude and wattage in 1989's National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation.
This is the father of a family on a mission. The wife has started to research what lights of a Griswoldian display will cost -- as well as which brands of lights have the most bulbs per inch and have the most watts per strand. They've a teenage son who's lanky enough and probably foolish enough to scale the house and cast an ambient glow over much of Golden Springs.
While some might sniff and say Christmas in this economic spiral calls for restraint of a decorative nature, it could be argued that this is the perfect time for all of us -- Scrooges, Grinches and Griswold -wannabes alike -- to set up light systems that would rival Hartsfield International.
Forget the extra cash you'll be sending Alabama Power's way; over-the-top (or around the porch) illumination could be what the country needs to shock itself into good spirits. A civic defibrillation, if you will.
Apologies to migrating birds thrown off course by such a light explosion, but this is an emergency.
Children have already been warned that Santa's workshop has been in a pinch. Retailers are bracing themselves for a lean season. The spirit of Christmas giving to poor folks is more sobering this year because, well, there are more folks out there who are poor in 2008 who've never been poor before.
If the world around us feels unsteady -- and it is -- then maybe we need the chance to escape temporarily to the fantasy world of Christmas decor found only in the U.S. of A.
Sure, there are those who'll rightfully remind the Griswold sect that the true meaning of Christmas isn't found in icicle lights or dancing penguins. Christmas is about love and sharing and giving.
So, frankly, are those lights. Lost in their glitter and glow is potential to do more than keep the neighbors' dog barking.
They might enliven someone's day. They might make someone smile. They might be a great family project for a chilly weekend afternoon.
Instead of holing up in our houses and keeping to our own economic misery, maybe some bright lights will lure us outside to take a walk, have a visit, and trade tips on just how the wheels on that light train seem to move.
And, unless they're the 25,000 bulbs Clark put on his house, they could start a case of lighthearted cheer that might become contagious. That's a feeling we all need to channel.
About Laura Tutor: Laura Tutor is the features editor for The Star. She is an enthusiastic cook, gardener and mother.
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